If your toddler holds it together at daycare, with relatives, or out in public but falls apart the second they see you you're not failing. In fact, neuroscience says you're doing it right.

Children don’t "save" their meltdowns for parents because they want to test you. They do it because you are their safest place.

According to developmental neuroscience, a toddler’s brain is still learning how to regulate big emotions like frustration, fear, and exhaustion. In environments where they feel uncertain or overstimulated, they may suppress those feelings to stay "in control." But when they’re with you, their most trusted person, their brain finally feels safe enough to let it all out.

This isn’t manipulation. It’s emotional unloading, a sign of secure attachment. It means they trust you to handle their rawest, most vulnerable states — the tantrums, the tears, the messy emotions they couldn't show elsewhere.

In those moments, your presence becomes their release valve. And though it’s hard, it’s an honor too. It means you’re not just a parent — you’re their emotional home base.

So next time you’re the one catching the meltdown, don’t ask, “What am I doing wrong?” Ask, “What am I doing right that they feel this safe with me?”

Source: Factology