A gas lighter (or gaslighting person) is someone who manipulates others into doubting their own perceptions, memories, or sanity. This behavior is a form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse.
Identifying Gas Lighters
- Denial of obvious facts: They deny things even when faced with evidence.
- Twisting reality: They make you question your memory or perception.
- Blaming you: They shift blame onto you for their actions.
- Minimizing feelings: They dismiss or belittle your emotions.
- Confusion tactics: They create confusion to gain control.
Practical Signs
- They say things like "You're crazy", "You don't remember right", "That never happened."
- They make you feel like you're losing your grip on reality.
- You start doubting yourself often after interactions with them.
Contexts Gaslighting Can Occur
- Romantic relationships: Partners manipulating each other.
- Workplace: Colleagues or bosses using gaslighting tactics.
- Family dynamics: Family members engaging in gaslighting.
- Friendships: Friends manipulating perceptions.
Avoiding Gas Lighters
- Set boundaries: Limit interaction if possible.
- Trust your instincts: Believe in your perceptions and feelings.
- Document events: Keep a record of events for your clarity.
- Seek support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or professionals.
Managing Interactions if You Can't Avoid Them
- Stay grounded: Focus on facts you know are true.
- Don't engage in arguments about reality: Avoid debating "what happened" with them.
- Use "gray rock" technique: Be neutral, unemotional, unresponsive like a gray rock.
- Prioritize self-care: Protect your mental and emotional well-being.
- Seek professional help: Counseling can help cope with gaslighting effects.
Practical Experiences
- People who've dealt with gaslighting often describe feeling confused, anxious, or doubting themselves.
- Support systems (friends, therapy) are crucial for dealing with gaslighting.
- Setting clear boundaries can help protect against manipulation.
Key Takeaway
Gaslighting is a harmful behavior. Trust yourself, seek support, and prioritize your emotional safety.
